Leave of Absence + Chat about Sleep

While I’ve occasionally updated my facebook wall, I have not actively engaged with my social media friends for the last one month!

LeaveOfAbsence

Yea, some of my personal friends have texted me in private expressing concerns. I’m also taking much longer to reply to their messages and it was very unlike my usual self.

WHY?

The Baby

I bet you already know the answer.

It had been a very challenging one month (10 May to 10 June). Just thinking about the past month makes me shudder.

What was happening:

  • Screaming and crying the entire day.
  • Had exhausted everything: Cuddling, carrying, talking, singing.
  • Exhausted but refused to sleep.
  • Problems having a good afternoon nap and night sleep:
    9am – 5pm: Maximum 30mins nap
    5pm – 6am: Waking up every 2hours screaming in terror. Or waking up for milk and refused to go back to sleep. Wanted to play and crawl.

Week 1: We had returned from Perth and thought the baby had problems adjusting back home. The weather in Perth was cool in the day and cold at night. In Singapore, we were sticky and hot due to the humid weather.

Week 2: Someone suggested that it could be due to baby’s teething process. I held on because I thought I could handle and swallow another week of unreasonable crying. I could deal with temporary discomfort.

Week 3: I had reached my limit. I was so upset and angry with him. His crying stamina was going strong and they were no match for my patience. He began expressing his displeasure with tantrums. Throwing things given to him. Kicking a fuss. Leaning his head back while being carried. Struggling to break free when being carried… I lost temper at RockstarPapasan due to the lack of sleep, fatigue and high stress level. Every morning, I was afraid to wake up because I don’t know how I was going to tide through the day. I would look at the clock in the living room and do a mental count-down hour by hour as the baby screamed in frustration.

Week 4: Breaking point.  I had it. The screams did not stop. On Tuesday (7 June), I baby proofed his room and made sure the room was danger free. I shut his door and in a fit of exasperation and frustration, I went hiding in my room, pretending that the screams did not exist. 100% bad mum. Yep. But I couldn’t care less. I sat next to my bedside table, grabbed some essential oils and applied on myself to calm me down. Then I realised… Hey, how come I didn’t think of oiling my boy?

SleepOils

And so I did. Oiled and then rocked him in my arms. It could be his fatigue, it could be the oils, it could be my lucky moment… To me, it doesn’t matter. All I cared was that he actually fell asleep. Even if it was to be a short nap. I was happy. First time in 3 weeks, he actually took a nap! I’m a happy mum.

In the brief moment of peace, I was able to hear my thoughts and to process information. What else could I do to ease his situation? What’s happening to him?

Ah, I am trained in the Body Talk System right? Why didn’t I think of doing a session for him? I tried my best to perform a session but my body and mind were too tired to pay attention to his body. Decided to engage Serena, my fellow practitioner in Body Talk, to conduct a session for Baby Aven. The healing session was arranged on 9 June, Friday, morning.

His session revealed a couple of things:

  • His body was having issues with absorption and penetration of fluids.
  • Body drainage and excretion was compromised. Frustration built up as a result of the lack of flow.
  • Working on the body’s hydration may assist him to have a healthy expression of himself and allow him to feel connected to his parents and his environment.

The session report connected with what I’m observing of him. He seemed to have found his voice and was trying hard to communicate. When I didn’t get his point, he would scream and throw tantrums to express his displeasure and pain.

By the evening, he seemed to be emotionally grounded. The fussing and crankiness reduced. We took the wait and observe approach.

Saturday and Sunday came. It was surreal. Because we seemed to have been awaken from a bad nightmare. He was back to his curious and cheerful disposition. Ahhh, we were sooooo grateful. Thank goodness!

Lesson learnt! 

  1. Lather him with oils first. When that fails, perform a Body Talk session on him to reveal underlying imbalances and issues.
  2. Growing is painful and traumatic. The muscles and bones are expanding and lengthening. It is a period of confusion and frustration. This boy has taught me that the same growing pains apply to all, even those of us in adulthood too! Often, we feel so alone and misunderstood when we enter a new phase of growth. I guess that’s what happening to Aven too.
  3. Parenting tip: Be extremely patient with the child and to be extra gentle with myself. In this episode, I’ve beaten myself up countless times and allowed doubts and self-deprecation to enter my mind. “Am I a bad mum?” “Why am I so lousy?” “I can’t even calm my own baby!”

 

For now, I’m breathing much easier. I know I’ve grown to be stronger than yesterday, wiser than last month, and am more resilient for future challenges. Motherhood is a growing up process too. Be gentle with yourself. I know I’m still working on this area!

 

 

 

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